Wolverine Macarena

 So ... the above photo is of the BP Exploration (Alaska) Inc Corrosion, Inspection and Chemicals Group (BPX CIC Group) Headquarters building, located behind the BPX Base Operations Camp (BPX BOC), located in the Western Operating Area (WOA) of Prudhoe Bay, Alaska . I believe I took this photo in the winter of 1992 - 1993. 

My office was located on the 2nd floor, and the landing I mention in the story below can bee seen in the above photo. 

This story is all about making sure you know what is on the other side of the door before you walk outside.  

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So ... I'm doing a normal day on the slope in the late 1990's. It's deep into winter.... and there is a storm brewing outside...

I remember there was this female British ex-pat corrosion engineer working in the office - she had been there for about the last 6 months.

Well - she had apparently walked out the back door to start her truck, and met a Wolverine sniffing around the parking lot ... She'd been standing there for half an hour just outside the door with this wolverine hissing and jumping up and down and hunching it's back and bearing it's teeth ... she was frozen in fear ...

I, being the total oblivious human at this point, walked out the second floor door to have a smoke - my first of the day. As I lit my cigarette, I hear this under the breath cough from below me. I look through the metal grating while taking my first puff, and see the young engineer.

"Well hi there!, I said ...

She said nothing.

"Um ... hi there?", I said again.

She just stood there.

I took another puff ..."Hmm" I thought. "Doesn't talk much ...".

It was right then I caught a whiff of something awfully dead. I know this smell from my days in the Military - it's something you don't forget. And right about then, I heard my first hiss.

I stepped over to the edge railing, and looked down into the parking lot. And there was this Wolverine - dancing about doing the Macarena, and hissing - about 15 feet in front of this young lady down stairs.

Well ... that's something you don't see every day.

"So ..." I said, "I'm guessing you are not moving inside because you are afraid to move?"

I hear a hushed "Uh huh" from downstairs ...

"And I am guessing you've been out in this cold for about an hour now, right?"

I heard another hushed "Uh Huh..." again ... so I knew she wasn't probably going to be moving really fast when the time came ... at least, I thought she couldn’t....

"OK - so here's my plan for you to get back inside minus one Wolverine ... I'm going to distract it, while you open the door, jump inside, and close the door, OK?"

A hushed "Uh Huh" is heard...

The Wolverine is hissing and spitting and bearing it's teeth all hunched up and stinking up the parking lot quite well ... and still doing its version of the Macarena ....

"OK - on the count of three, I'm going to start making a lot of noise - it should look up - giving you time to get in the door" I said ... as I couldn't think of anything else at the moment.

Ya - great plan...

I said "One...

A very sharp "BLAM !!!" is heard from the doorway. below me … I jumped and the Wolverine jumped.

I look below me to see no one on the bottom landing. Apparently, the engineer on the count of one opened the door, jumped inside and slammed the door shut.

I look down, and the Wolverine glances up in my direction, looks left, then right, then turns to the right and runs at a hunched lope out the driveway we use to the CIC Offices Parking Lot...

After getting one final puff of my cigarette, I went downstairs to see how the Engineer was doing. She was still standing in the hallway, leaning on the wall;;, catching her breath. .

"So ..." I said, "Everything is OK, eh? Just glad that wasn't a bear you met ...”

Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

I think she muttered a "Thank you for your help" as she passed me in the hall heading out of the office. I didn't see much of her after that. I think the young lady was heading back to the homeland a short time thereafter.

At least, that's how I remember it ...